Friday, May 23, 2008

Episode 1.3 *ALL NEW*



The gang of plastic beauties welcomes you to the Sunshine State. Cum along as we follow these perfectly sculpted Mattel creatures on their hedonistic adventures on the white sandy beaches of sunny Florida...

As you know, Teresa's uber frat-tastic boyfriend, Chad, bumped plastic uglies with none other than Teresa's KOK sister, the slutty Sandy Sampson. Teresa, never one to let heartbreak slow her down, decides to take a relaxing vacay with the house twins, Mindy **brunette** and Cindy **blonde, duh** The ladies trade in their packed social calendar for some premature skin aging and melanoma.


Teresa: Lyke, omg I can't buh-leave Chad would lyke, cheat on me, especially with Sandy! We were lyke, totes in LOVE.

Mindy: Fosh. Girl, you are lyke wayyy sexxxier than slutty Sandy anyway. Crabs are lyke probz eating away at his plastic mound as we, lyke, speak.

Cindy: Totes, lyke, fosh. You equals way sexxier, fosh, totes.

Meanwhile, back at K.U.N.T...

Chad gets on his RAZR and calls up his DIK bro, Tad, in need of a major Bro-catation.



Chad: Hey bro, I def need a bro-cay. My rents aren't using their condo this week in Flo-rida, wanna head down there, bro?



Tad: Cha bra, let's go fuck some bitches in the dirrty souf.

Little do the bros know, they're about to play on the very same beach that Teresa, Cindy, and Mindy are developing pre-cancerous plastic cells. Let the dramz, lyke, begin...



Tad: Yo, bra .. check out dem fine pieces of ass. Smooth, white chocolate. Two for me, one for you!

Chad: No, bra .. that looks like Teresa and those slutty KOK twins.

Tad: Shiiiiiiiit, bra. Let's go holla at em, maybe those twins are into threesomes with a brotha.

Chad: Nah, bra, I can't. Teresa's so pissed at me, she'll probably rip my plastic mound off.

Tad: Whatev homez, I finna go hit dat.



Tad: Hey boo, watchu fine ladies up to?

Teresa: Uhhh, is Chad, lyke, with you?

Tad: Nevamind dat, you two sistas wanna go for a walk?

Cindy and Mindy: ::giggle:: Lyke, FOSH!! Later, T!





Chad grows some plastic mangerines and sits down next to Teresa...

Chad: Baby girl, we need to talk.

Teresa: Get the fuck away from me.

Chad: Come on, you know you're my baby girl, I love you. I'm sorry...

Deeply hurt from Teresa's rejection, Chad's painted eyes start to water.





Teresa: Baby, are you crying? I guess you do totes love me forevs...

Chad: You know I do baby girl. You know, I didn't think it was possible but you're even more sexy than before, it's really turning me on...

Teresa: ::giggles and whispers:: Let's go play in the water...








Meanwhile, on another part of island...



Clearly feeling the need to dispel any warm tinglings after his and Chad's "moment," Tad does what he claims he does best.. fucks some bitches.

After the sand is cleaned out of the plastic holes, what will happen to our favorite plastic people? Will Teresa and Chad reconnect at K.U.N.T? Will Tad and Chad ever talk about their "'bro'ment?" And who are these new girls, Mindy and Cindy? Stay tuned for the next episode of "Life in Plastic."

Editor's Note: Keep your painted blue eyes peeled for our gang's photo album and blooper reel from this very special vacation.

190 comments:

jennnorth said...

omggggg so much has happened... i don't know if i can wait to find out what happens!



(ps. kellee, i hope people gave you creepy looks while you were not only playing with barbies on the beach, you were taking their clothes and making them have INTERCOURSE as well.)


lovesssssssss it

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